I'm Not Getting Into The Blog Fad!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2005-12-25T13:10:00.000-08:00

Or Happy Holidays to our Corporate Overlords...May you rot in hell...
I'm spending Christmas with My friend Rudolph and two crazy drunk reindeer that had to much eggnog...so Santa had to hook up Astor, the Dutch Sheep and a very bad elf high on gangia...It took them three extra hours to get all of North America so they skipped Latin America for now...So they'll have to wait until Three Kings Day...

Eddie Guerrero 1967-2005

2005-11-13T14:28:00.000-08:00

I have been sitting here, at my keyboard at work, trying to find the words. Trying to express how I feel right now.

All I know is, I feel like I have a stone around my heart right now.

Eduardo Gori Guerrero Llanes, better known to the world at large as WWE wrestler Eddie Guerrero, passed away this morning.

If you know anything about me, I am a huge fan of wrestling. And this hit me pretty hard when I heard of it. By now, I would have expected to be hardened towards such news. Wrestlers have a tendency to die early. It's the nature of the business. I'm not blind to that. But I had always hoped this day would never come. Eddie Guerrero has had his demons, which I won't go into here. But he beat them, and went on to become one of the greatest personalities to step into the squared circle.

Reading the news hit me like a ton of bricks. I have always liked Eddie. His gimmick, while stereotypical and somewhat insulting to Latinos, was always over. Because of the man who did it. In the hands of anyone else, it would have been offensive. But in Eddie's hands, it was fried gold. He did his "Lying, Cheating, and Stealing" gimmick with a wink and a smile, always bringing a humor to it that was warm and genuine. But he could be deadly serious in the same moments. He's proved it time and time again. And seeing that he was dead really shook me up, almost as much as if someone had told me that a member of my own family has died. But that's how it always works. You think someone's going to be around forever, and then, they're not. I remember watching his last match, a match on Smackdown, the show that's been his home for going on 3 years now, and the show that gave him his first World's championship. He was his old self, coming out in a costom lowrider, smiling and having fun. It was a return to the character that had made Eddie one of the most beloved wrestlers in the WWE. He even won via a DQ decision, after tricking his opponent Ken Kennedy into holding a steel chair and pretending that Kennedy had clocked him with it.

It was exactly the way I think Eddie would have liked his last match to end.

Eddie came from a family of wrestlers, and was arguably the most famous and well-known Guerrero to step into the ring. Coming up, he and his frequent tag partner Art Barr could ignite a crowd to riot. They feuded with 2 legendary Mexican wrestlers, Octagon and El Hijo De Santo, himself, the sone of the legendary El Santo. In fact, a lot of people have said that the death of Art several years ago was the low point that Eddie could never escape from. Art was as much Eddie's hermano as he was his tag partner. And when he died, a part of Eddie died along with him. Despite his demons, Eddie became a very popular wrestler, signing with ECW, and going on to win the ECW TV Title. In 1995, Eddie signed with WCW, where he enjoyed some of his biggest exposure. His matches with friends Rey Mysterio Jr, Dean Malenko, Chris Benoit, and Konnan were the stuff of legend. And when he jumped to the WWF with Benoit, Malenko, and Perry Saturn, it was one of the biggest moments of his life. But that was cut short, due to a gruesome elbow dislocation in his first match in the WWF. Despite the injury, Eddie still was able to back up his friends. As the year's wnt on, Eddie's popularity grew, as his over-the-top personality caught on. It eventually resulted in Eddie shocking the industry when he defeated hot newcomer Brock Lesnar for the WWE championship at No Way Out at 2004. Recently, he had programs with his friend Rey Mysterio and Dave Batista, the current World's Champion.

And now, it's no more.

The WWE is planning to have tribute shows on both Raw and Smackdown for Eddie this week. I urge you, even if you don't like wrestling, watch them. You'll get a once-in-a-lifetime opprotunity to see how an industry honors one of it's fallen own.

Eddie Guerrero, for all that he was, for all that he did, was his own man. He was passionate about his business, his family, and his fans. He deserves better honoring than what I can give him. Y'know, I've always wanted to be a pro wrestler. It never happened, but if it had, I would have been myself, Chainsaw, just the same way that Eddie was Eddie. But now, if I were wrestling, I would have changed my name to Guerrero, despite the fact I am nowhere near Latino. It's the only thing I can think of to honor the man.

There was a t-shirt back in his WCW days that read "Eddie Guerrero Is My Favorite Wrestler." It was more of a joke, a part of a plotline with his nephew Chavo, Jr. But now, more than ever, I don't think a truer sentiment has ever been uttered.

Rest In Peace, Eduardo. You've earned it. For us left here, we will always do our best to Cheat Death and Steal Life.

Edit-Tonight, on USA at 9PM EST, the WWE will be airing a special tribute show to Eddie on RAW. There will also be a show on Friday at 8PM EST on UPN for the Smackdown brand, where Eddie spent the remainder of his career. Please, if you can, watch them to get a feeling for how people cared about this wonderful man. Thank You.

Call me the Hurley!

2005-11-10T21:24:00.000-08:00

Ever see the movie Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter? No? Well, neither have I. But the title is apt in my case. Now, every one of my friends are jumping on me to post a new entry. Which reminds me of why I was trepidatious to start a blog in the first place. I'm really bad at keeping up on these things. It's systematic of my whole life. I start a project, then don't finish it, thanks to my near-comical inability to see things through to the end. In a way, I've done the same thing with a handful of the friends I've made over the years. I just don't end up talking to them after a while. It's not that I don't want to talk to them or anything. I just end up not keeping up with them.

So, there's a pattern.

But hopefully, this isn't going to end up on the Unfinished pile of my life, along with the myriad of movie and comic ideas, internet projects (like my wrestling fed C.A.W. website), and various relationships that never materialized. I just need to keep the ideas and opinions coming forward, blasting forth, bleeding together like wi-yune!

So...

...Erm...

...How you doin'?

And The Last American Person Breaks Down...

2005-11-04T21:22:00.000-08:00

Well, it's finallly happened. After almost a year of blogs being in the public consciousness, and me playing the Ted Kaczynski to it's technological consortium, I finally broke down. I've started a blog. Now, I'm another one of the herd. God help us all.

Actually, I've been meaning to start a blog for some time now. I was finally pushed into it by the fact that 2 of my best friends now have blogs of their own. So I figured, now's about the best time as any. After all, if there's one thing that I know how to do, it's express an opinion. Yeah, I'm sure that's no different than anyone else, but this blog will offer soemthing that no 14-year-old schoolgirl or horny 38-year-old dude who posts nothing but buttshots from his mom's basement could possibly offer.

Utter and absolute contempt.

Oh yeah. I'm gonna be damn popular now...

But, to ease you into this, here's a pic of me with the hottest woman in the world, Rue Morgue Managing Editor Jovanka Vuckovich.

See? It's not all bad...